I remember a flurry of snapshots from never-ending evenings in the throes of various poisonous activities, but cannot for the life of me seem to remember a single thing my wife has ever said to me. Add to that, every time I blink, my daughter is another year older. Suddenly my hair is greying at an exponential rate and all the doctors and therapists I see are much younger than me. I do not feel the way I thought other people might feel when I was much younger and imagined the kinds of things they might say to one another. I feel far more broken than I ever thought possible, and yet I’d rather be swimming in the thick of it with my eyes open than continue on my previous path of blissful ignorance. At least that’s what I tell myself every time I ponder that particular conundrum. Anyway… I suppose the point of it all for me is this: Despite the horrors of daily living, the constant fuck ups on my part, and the ever present existential dread, I am incredibly grateful for my experience as a human here on planet earth. I’ve had quite an adventure, living what almost seems like several different lives at once. And yet, at each point along the way, I pretty much hated everything about myself. I thought I had put that ugly voice to bed a million years ago, but I’m afraid it appears I did not fully succeed in my intended task.
And so the struggle continues…
-Justin.
01. Michael’s Opening - J Spaceman
02. Ladies and gentlemen we are floating in space - Spiritualized
03. Dirty Water - The Jesus and Mary Chain
04. Big Sky - The Kinks
05. Birdsong - Adam Franklin
06. Angel Bell - Joe Hisaishi
07. Try to Sleep - Low
08. Speedy Marie - Frank Black
09. Phantasies - Stephen Malkmus
10. Tomorrow Never Comes - Lee Ranaldo
11. Get On The Floor - The Promise Ring
12. (Manifest) - The Weakerthans
13. Paris Beach - J Spaceman
